


The lion pen

by dinglemingle



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Character Death, Cos Ben's obvs gonna survive, M/M, Not Canon Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-10-13 10:48:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20581259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dinglemingle/pseuds/dinglemingle
Summary: Callum was gone,he hadn't existed for the past week,just sort of floated around the square in a cold sense of disbelief, unable to process the unimaginable...Or the one were Ben dies





	The lion pen

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first my time writing in a while,and my first time writing for ballum! I thought I'd have a go at ripping everyone's heart out,sorry haha. Enjoy! :)

It had been seven days. 168 hours. God knows how many tissues and cups of tea. Ben ,the big man,the joker,the mouthy little Mitchell,was dead.

Callum was gone,he hadn't existed for the past week,just sort of floated around the square in a cold sense of disbelief, unable to process the unimaginable

One minute he was stood there in the Archers,cocky and confident,calling Callum out for who he was,what he was doing,and then,then he was lying on the floor of the Vic bloody and bruised. Callum just couldn't process it,there was no way Ben was gone,not Ben, Not _his _ben

He hadn't visited, something he now regretted, because he couldn't bring himself too. He felt awkward and unneeded. Didn't want to face the Mitchell's and their questions. Besides,what right did he have to be there? He'd hardly been the nicest to Ben,pushed him away at every chance.To afraid to admit who he really was.

_**Coward. **_Ben was right,that's exactly what he was. It was that very thing that nagged away at him, that stopped him from visiting Ben. Stopped him from having a goodbye,from saying how he really felt.

And now it was too late, and Callum was all on his own. Well,that's if you don't count all the people stood around him, their mindless chatter a failing attempt to cover up the tragedy of this very room

It was his funeral. _His. _Callum couldn't even say his name without choking up. They had all gathered in the Vic,ironic, Callum thought.

The sandwiches and drinks couldn't distract Callum from fixating on the spot. That spot, right where he was a week ago, cradling Ben in his arms, begging him to stay.

But it was too late now,to think back,to ponder on all the what if's. And he was stood there, surrounded by heads and bodies yet all on his own

Suddenly,a tug at his sleeve jolted him out of his thoughts. Looking round for the source,his eyes led him to a wide eyed,red cheeked little girl

** _Lexi_ **

God,Lexi. Barely seven and having already lost her dad. 

He met her eyes and gave her a weak smile,all he could manage without breaking down

She smiled back,wide and bright. "You helped my daddy" she said it more like a question then a statement

"Well yes I tried" the sound came from the back of his throat,he couldn't remember the last time he spoke.

Lies. Ben. That was the last time he spoke, properly,that is. He spoke to Ben that day, and he tried. Oh how he tried to save him. But trying just wasn't enough.

Lexi spoke again,"daddy told you the rest of the story didn't he, about the girl who wasn't afraid" This time it was a statement. Definite and sure.

His mind flashed back to those words, Ben's last words as he gasped his last breath. All for her,his little girl. The girl stood in front of Callum, patient,yet expectant.

"Uh yeah,yeah he did" he nodded and blinked a bit too rapidly,in a bid to hold back the tears.

"Will you finish it?" The first time she sounded a little less confident, "please" that was a whisper,light and gentle. Callum didn't think he could,but he looked down at her,at this girl, who's eyes remained bright with hope, despite her fresh trauma. And he remembered

He remembered what Ben had said,how he'd asked him to finish the story.

And so with a heavy heart, he went with Lexi,with Ben's little girl. The girl who he could see now was broken and devastated,yet staying strong for her mummy and uncle Jay. He sat her down and told her the story of the little girl in the lion pen,who wasn't afraid of anything.

And in that brief, fleeting moment,he felt that Ben was there with him. He felt at peace,and that he himself wasn't afraid either.

**Author's Note:**

> Aah I'm sorry,I hope that wasn't too sad. All feedback is appreciated. My Tumblr is @dinglemingle incase you want more ballum action aha :) thanks for reading!


End file.
